I think about Donald Trump more often then I would care to admit. But when I sit down to write about him, nothing ever comes. I have spent the past year genuinely contemplating why he is in my reality. I've never publicly condemned him or criticized him, because I recognize that everyone playing a major role in the storylines of my reality are mirrors --reflections of all things conscious and subconscious.
So I mostly paid attention to how he made me feel. What emotions were triggered when people mentioned his name... How did I viscerally respond to his behavior and words… Did I feel angry? Irritated? Powerless? What was Trump showing me about myself that I couldn't see otherwise?
I dived deep into shadow work during my ascension process this past year. And what was shown to me were my past lives as Trump. Not the real Trump of course. But my lives were I treated women unfairly, where I lied and refused to listen, where I used my authority and power to promote my own self interests, where I had been blamed as responsible for the deaths of thousands of people. And at the end of it, it made no sense to condemn Trump as it would be the equivalent of hurling rocks at myself.
I'm now left with compassion. And at the same time I think President Trump is a narcissist. I've spent many hours with a narcissist and I've decided that even though their behavior come across as self-centeredness and egotism, the narcissistic behavior is a super strong, involuntary, almost impenetrable defense mechanism for psychological and emotional trauma. Having a narcissistic president is deeply problematic because people with this disorder lack the ability to 1) self-reflect and 2) emphathize with others.
And here was yet another mirror of the many lifetimes where I was the one who lacked empathy. You know, I used to think incarnating into a lifetime with the Dharma of dedicating my life to service was a sign that I was a pretty evolved spiritual being. Boy was I surprised to discover that this was deeply embedded into my karmic blueprint for this lifetime because I struggled so greatly in many past lifetimes with developing compassion and empathy for other humans, especially while in positions of power.
My blueprint ensured I spent this lifetime focused on others and not on my self or on gaining fame or wealth -- it was my soul's way of learning these lessons. That's how hard this pattern is to "fix" each lifetime without extreme limitations or outside assistance from spiritual guides.
I've accepted that we're not always going to have someone in the White House who agrees with us. They are going to make decisions and take actions that would be different than what you or I would do if we were in the same position. But there's leadership in empathy -- the ability to genuinely recognize the needs of others, speak to their experience, and put yourself in their shoes, even when you disagree. To take the best course of action as you see fit but bring people along, pull people together, and explain how their experience and views were considered. My issue is less with the decisions President Trump has made, or his personal antics, but with his inability to authentically express compassion and empathy for other human beings.
Our karma often puts us in the best position to where we can see, what we couldn't see otherwise. And from that new perspective, we can shift internally. Trump and his wife were recently diagnosed with COVID. It's a humbling moment when life causes you to become the person you couldn't identify with, before that moment. Tonight, I noticed there was a sharp shift in the tone of his tweets from "me" to "together".
I'm intentionally writing this post before the next series of tweets come in. I have no idea whether Trump will self reflect during his quarantine or make any long term shifts in rhetoric or behavior because of this one moment of feeling vulnerable to a virus he can't control. And yes, it's possible he's using the messaging of togetherness to gain sympathy votes.
But from what I know about reality is that there is massive synchronicity in the timing of this diagnosis. And from what I know about why we attract illness into our lives, there is a great opportunity now for the clearing out of old physical and emotional blockages. I wish President Trump the experience that is best suited for the growth of his soul and expansion of his consciousness.