This COVID timeline resulted in the clearing of some very dense energy blockages in my heart chakra region. And now my ability to feel "disconnection" has been greatly magnified. While it was optional before, I can no longer live and function without genuine human connection, and still be happy. I find that I feel alone without it.
This week I attended a Meetup.com hike in Phoenix. It was my second interaction with live human beings that weren't wearing masks in many months. I used to attend these events and honestly, I was there for the activity. Connecting with people wasn't required. Now my spirit guides' rules for human connection were constantly circulating in my mind...honesty, vulnerability, shared experience. Connection First. That's my new motto.
I walked up to one guy. He was super friendly and filled with endless facts about the area but I could sense he struggled with vulnerability. I shared things about myself. He shared facts that one could Google on the Internet. There was another guy with a million dollar smile. But energetically it felt like he was surrounded by an impenetrable force field that would deflect any and all personal questions. We struggled to hold a conversation.
I met a lady who was super friendly and talkative and loved to laugh. I asked her if she had been to this place before. She said she never knew it existed. I assumed she was new to town but she said she'd been here for a year and a half but was so busy getting settled she never had time to get out or meet people. I sensed she wasn't telling the truth. I'm sure she had her reasons, but energetically I felt the disconnect between us after that.
I overheard a lady expressing how nervous she felt about completing the hike because of her weight and I thought finally! Honesty and vulnerability! But the more we talked, the more I realized it was non-stop self-expression. She wasn't interested in my experience at all -- only sharing hers.
I stopped in the middle of the hike and had a silent conversation with my Guides. "I didn't realize this would be so hard,” I said.
The group reached a lookout point and it was beautiful. We all sat together looking at the city lights. Is this a shared experience I silently asked my Guides? No, they said. I realized at that moment, that I had no idea what people were thinking or feeling about this experience. I was feeling romantic and had images of wine bottles, grapes, and picnic baskets floating through my head. We were all together experiencing this beautiful moment and yet we were so far apart.
The first guy that I met who shared non-stop facts, shared a story about his son. The conversation moved onto something else, but I paused and asked him more about his son. He then revealed a single piece of information about himself. God, I thought. It's been an hour and a half. Should I have to work this hard to connect with another human being?
In one of my recent channeled messages, it stated that things like kindness, support, proximity, and politeness are often mistaken for human connection. I experienced all those things during the meetup, but still found myself thirsty for connection. I wonder if anybody else felt the same way….
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I can't imagine that anyone could go through this COVID timeline...being at home...isolated from the rest of the world with little to no human contact for months or years, and not contemplate what it means to connect with another human being...