My latest social media experiment is to 1) stop using emojis and 2) stop liking people’s posts and 3) turning off all notifications from Facebook and Instagram. I researched the origin of emojis and they first started in Japan and became popular because they added emotional subtext to flat text. Flat text? That’s doublespeak for writing that contains no expression of feeling or emotion. (Like this entire paragraph).
I started observing discussion threads on social media. They were filled with people sharing thoughts and opinion — flat text (i.e. I want you to know what I think, not what I feel.) I discovered when you take away the emoji, social media is largely devoid of written expression of feelings. How did I never notice that before?? I just had to resist the urge to add an emoji with the dude scratching his head with a puzzled look.
Is it because we are lazy? Is this a symptom of the digital age? Is it because we are too busy to type? I’ve seen people write paragraphs of intellectual debate on these discussion threads. People have time. Plus, it honestly doesn’t take too long to type “You make me feel loved” 🥰, or “I feel like crying.” 😭.
I believe that the rampant use of emojis is a symptom of a world where emotional expression is underdeveloped, uncomfortable, culturally inaccurate, stigmatized, and stunted. So what does it mean that I use them all the time? I’m embarrassed to admit that I, LaShanda Greene, am an emotionally stunted adult. (<— See how that works)
HI LASHANDA!!
The more I thought about emojis, the less they made sense. But if I stopped using emojis and likes, that means people wouldn’t know how I felt , unless I told them. Crazy, I know (I’m being sarcastic.). It would mean I’d have to meaningfully engage every time I stepped into the realm of social media. It would mean I would have to prioritize quality over quantity. It would mean that people who see our online connection as a function of likes would stop coming around so often. It means I would have to completely modify the way I connect to other human beings.
I posted a channeled message in a FB group yesterday. It had ten thoughtful responses. I usually like everyone’s message just to be polite...to acknowledge them. Not this time. Instead, I looked for connection. To my surprise, only one message contained a written expression of emotion. Only one! So instead of trying to respond to 10 people, I responded to one and I focused my attention on connecting. Being honest, being vulnerable, connecting my experience to hers. Writing out my feelings without emojis. I wouldn’t have had time to do that with 9 people. But I had time for one.
I wondered would people stop liking if I stopped liking? And therein lies the trap. I LIKE likes. They make me feel GOOD. I admit it. I want to feel seen. I want to feel heard. I want to feel loved. I’m not super picky about where it comes from. The connection is secondary. Ouch. I need likes more than I need to feel connected to you. Double ouch. Giving up the likes, means giving up all the above. But I’m at a phase in my evolution where experiencing human connection is no longer optional, so I turned off the notifications and when I log in, I focus on the comments. I am experimenting with doing things...differently. We’ll see how it goes...